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类别:诗歌 -  Doom’s Odious Harbinger

  2018年冬天,去纽约上州的卡茨基尔山脉(Catskill Mountains)的几个滑雪场滑雪。住在当地的小木屋,每日开车往返雪山的路上,看到山脚和山上不少废弃的度假屋,有的甚至是很大的豪宅,都已经被废弃,有些都已经坍塌。触目感还是很impressive的。一时感慨,即兴写下这首英文诗《Doom’s Odious Harbinger》。关于纽约上州度假屋兴盛和衰落的原因,在诗后也有简单记述。

  Dusk descends sooner still, darkening
  suddenly as I drive back home,
  and by the day’s swift end, I realize
  the summer of yesterday is gone.

  Opposing headlights loom – ethereal –
  illuminating in the abyss an enigmatic omen:
  a lifeless raccoon strewn along the roadside,
  long passed its perilous pain and struggle;
  some fallen leaves waltzing in the wind,
  like a passionless elegy being sung.

  Along the road and above on the hillside,
  pass abandoned sojourn cabins from time to time,
  some in ruins, collapsed and dilapidated,
  but a haunting aura flickers the glory of their pasts.

  For some reason,
  one most dark and eerie grips my sight,
  and I sense a great feast still lingers inside.
  In a wave of strangers floats the sultry hostess in a black silk dress
  luring a handsome guest with her seductive smile.
  He is chary, but helpless to resist her temptress charms.
  Was that me? But the house is gone before I am certain,
  as I drift down the road, now a river of time.

  The traffic suddenly slows with no cause in sight:
  no accidents, no closed lanes,
  no blue and red flashing lights,
  and just as sudden, the current picks up, an ebb and flow,
  as the prior tide resumes with no cause in sight.

  Faintly reflected in my rearview mirror,
  is a shrouded car devoid of headlights glowing.
  The danger is unnerving,
  but I wonder: am I more worried for him
  or for myself? But the car is gone before I am certain,
  changing lanes and charging past me,
  swerving into traffic and vanishing from my life.

  The neon lights of a passing Holiday Inn
  are jarring, making my trail seem stranger still.
  Insecurity seizes me in darkness
  and I feel as though I am driving through a deserted town
  in which I never wanted to be.

  I take my exit and continue to the bypass,
  turning left at the first traffic light, rushing
  the half second before the amber warning turns red.
  Relief washes over me, but I should not push my luck,
  for it is dark and such risks make me uneasy.
  Another intersection ahead shines a yellow beacon,
  so I stop and revel in the relaxing red glow.

  A large plane flying low crosses my windshield,
  right to left – heavy and steady yet impossibly quiet.
  As if I have been waiting for this moment all my life,
  I watch the plane disappear slowly into the night,
  taking my destiny away in flight.

拍摄于滑雪路上

后记

  滑雪归来,我做了些research,看了下当地的文献和资料,这些度假屋果然是有历史沧桑的。

  纽约上州这些地方,夏天时可以登山hiking,山里也是消暑度假的好地方。最火的时候是上世纪20年代到70年代,那时候一片生机。不仅度假屋大行其道,而且酒店、娱乐业等也很兴盛。开始去度假的人很多是纽约市的犹太人。因为那时候的大环境,大家都懂得,犹太人还是很受歧视的,去别的地方度假,很容易给自己添堵。

  而当时,犹太人的几个务农的分支在当地已经形成了有一定规模的社区,他们向纽约市的犹太人伸出橄榄枝,弄起“农家乐”。

  于是,城里相对富裕的犹太人蜂拥到山区,夏天消暑,冬天滑雪。

  伍迪·艾伦,Jerry Seinfeld,等等等等,很多纽约的犹太人艺术家和金融精英们都是每年必来的常客。

  这里的旅游业,地产业,餐饮酒店业也蓬勃起来。

  纽约市的犹太人有钱的不少,也带动了一系列其它产业:娱乐业,talk show夜场,还有音乐节等等。当时美国几大音乐节,就在这里举办。当时的摇滚先锋们没来这里开过音乐会,那简直不好意思说自己是主流。

  当然,性解放和毒品等也与之相随。

  总之,一片生机,一片繁荣,一片灯红酒绿。纽约市的有钱人,如果没在上州有个度假屋,都不好意思说自己是成功人士,丢不起那人。

  但到了七十年代,慢慢开始变化了。

  七十年代,反犹太人的气候在全球已经下去了很多,有钱的犹太人去三藩,去佛罗里达,甚至去欧洲度假,也不受到那么明显的歧视了。而且有钱就愿意开启全国甚至全球度假模式了。去阿尔卑斯山滑雪不更拉风?冬天去佛罗里达海滩不更惬意、更暖和?

  加上飞机旅行的普及和飞机票价格一再下跌。还有,很关键的一点,家用空调的普及,夏天在纽约市的曼哈顿也不觉得有多热、有多难熬了。

  来纽约上州消暑和滑雪的犹太人和白人越来越少。

  从七十年代起,这些地方一路凋敝。很多度假屋荒废了,曾经的豪华酒店,餐馆和夜场,一家家倒闭关门。

  当地的就业也直线下落。恶性循环下,这片当年曼哈顿的豪华后院,如今已经沦落成纽约州最穷的地区之一。失业率非常高,很多家庭收入只有两三万美元,贫困下的人口比例相当高。

  很多青年觉得这里没有前途和希望也就一走了之了,很多房子也荒弃了。

  不过凋敝虽说凋敝,贫穷虽然贫穷,但当地的民风真是朴实,为人也大方。无论是路边搭车遇到的热心当地人,还是卖披萨的小餐馆的老板,还是雪场餐厅的收银员,那种大方和大气的气质,让人时时感到温暖。

  比如说,我有次傍晚给汽车加油,顺便店里面买个pizza。里面做pizza的大妈,一个劲的说,pizza是上午做的,不新鲜了,不要买了,我看还有个汉堡包,那我要这个吧。她说,这也是中午做的,一直放在烤箱。一下午了,不好再卖了。

  我说,我实在饿了,就卖我一片pizza吧。

  她看了下,好像也没别的吃的了,就说,好吧,我给你热热。

  热完pizza,给我装盒子里面,只收了我一块钱。

  我走出店门的时候,内心感慨着便宜。大妈突然从身后对我说,我看你饿,给你多热了一片,里面一共两片,enjoy!

  这大妈一年收入不一定有两万,自己折腾了十分钟,卖了我一块钱。

  那种简单和淳朴,真让在城里生活习惯了,对“everything has a price”习以为常的我觉得不好意思。

  也很感动。要记住,这个地区人均家庭收入还不到3万。贫困人口比例高达30%。很多人、很多家庭还挣扎在温饱上。

  某个瞬间,我确实有这种感觉:为什么有些人贫穷,有种很大的可能是:他们只不过不是精致的利己主义者而已。

  可能是天天对着大山河流和原野,地旷人稀,人心更趋单纯、自然吧。

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